Inevitably my spirit vegetable was rutabaga

I grew up listening to Barbara St… You don’t bring me flowers anymore and determined I’d never make that… Ten years into marriage my wife sa… Don’t bring me flowers anymore

Don’t think of a pink elephant and while you’re at it Don’t kill the messenger

People who enter a plea of I’m sorry if you were offended are bargaining for a sentence of time served reckoning they’ll have got off sco…

Charles Horton Cooley said “I am not what I think I am and I am not what you think I am; I am what I think you think I am” Before the like button

I don’t know what being alone with your thoughts is like for you but for me it’s like I’m watching them

Money is our failed attempt To materialize trust Making true wealth An unshakable trust

Apocalypse now in the eternal now

A wise man once told me that there are two kinds of family prob… He said Family Problem #1 is not having a family

If you want to remain married one partner should stay busy moving the goalposts while the other focuses on running out the clock

I’ve reached the age where getting ready for bed is like preparing for a spacewalk

When people say I live on my phone I wonder how they withstand the pr… Of eight tons per square inch

Saying Get out of your comfort zone to an American is like telling a turtle to get out of its shell

You need to follow the rules all t… so that you’re following the rules… At the same time, you need to know exactly when to break the rules But there can’t be a rule for brea…

You have to believe to commit And they think we’re crazy to beli… And would commit us as inpatients If only they had the patience But their patience has worn thin