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Chris Gaither

Chris Gaither

Talk Show Ghost

In phase one we
lived in order to live
 
In phase two we
talked in order to live
 
In phase three,
in which we’ve been stuck for some time now, we
live in order to talk
 
It’s unclear if
we’ll ever make it to phase four when we
talk in order to talk

Other works by Chris Gaither...
If We Just Retrieve What We’ve Already Learned, the Golden Age Will Be a Fait Accompli

Post-pandemic life is like being a… Who comes home only to find Her parents have replaced Her obviously dead goldfish With a new one
Baby Steps

I need the guy who trains your mind so that you can walk barefoot across hot coals to come to my house
Enough

By the time Abraham and Isaac cli… Human beings had long since evolve… Survive danger and avoid death Long enough to overcome death By reproducing and raising offspri…
I’m Sensing a Lot of Guilt

In the 2020 reboot Bugs Bunny’s persona has shifted from invulnerable trickster to pseudo-empathic scold
In the World to Come There Will Be Neither Capitalism nor Socialism Because People Will Finally Grasp the Difference Between Wants and Needs, i.e. There Will Finally Be Monotheism

The difference between God and human beings Is that God gives you what you deserve Which is always what you need
I Used to Want All the Money in the World; Soon I’ll Have All the Time in the World

In regular old capitalism we used to say time is money In the attention economy we say
Have a Coke or a Smile

When I was a kid the rule was one kid got to pour two glasses of Coke and the other kid
These Boots Were Made For Gawking

I was never comfortable in my own skin but I always felt okay in alligator boots
Haiku

God is the storm un– til He becomes your shelter from the storm. Amen
The Secret Word of the Day Is Love

It’s taken me this long to underst… like Pee Wee Herman I meant to do that though I’m still unsure why Because as hard as it’s been
You Wear the New Fitbit Around Your Ankle

While I was waiting for them to come to their senses they came to my house
Saved by the Gel

My life was about to go down the drain but the drain was clogged
Free and Fair

Whether it’s a brute fact Or a gift from God We are free Is this fair? It depends on
Darling Wife, Love of My Life, We Ride at Dawn

Sex is like The world’s most powerful wild ani… And we are to ride it Since it is the only force strong… For the building and maintenance o…
Bcc

I’ve started blind copying my wife on emails to myself



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