Because bodies make a fart joke of… etiquette used to dictate that whe… passed gas at, e.g., a dinner part… the polite thing to do was to pret… the fart never happened

In His infinite wisdom God made the pen mightier than the… Which is why the internet’s first… Is the First Amendment It’s only once free speech and fre…

A fair competition Is one in which No one can win So that everyone Has an equal chance

If you’re looking for answers life is a wild goose chase If you’re looking for the next que… life is a never-ending scavenger h…

I was the first ever lobster discovered in the wild with a rubber band around my claw clamping it shut

God said satis– faction guaranteed; religion is all the fine print

Our task is never-ending And our time is limited This is a major source of complain… But consider the opposite possibil… Our work here is done

Is being a conformist without a cause enough to qualify me as an antihero

Tired of my pre-contemplation phas… God sent me my wife Who Contemplated me during the honeymo… Prepared me for fatherhood

True belonging Allows for truth So, we belong to no one Even though we deserve each other

Because I was both my private and public self I was neither and my trail went cold from there But now that there are neither

The truth is true Is a tautology The truth is untried and true Is an etiology

Entire lives can be lived waiting for the other shoe to drop although often this just means you’re being crushed at a snail’s…

I always thought it didn’t matter if human beings really had free will as long as they experienced the wo… as if they did;

Whenever an authority figure says It’s my way or the highway I end up wanting to have it both w…