When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs

If you cut off an arm you are left with a stump to which you affix a prosthetic If you cut off a face you are left with a mask

You can’t break the chain of events but you can break the chain of custody for the chain of events

My utopia is a dystopia where I get to say I told you so

I wear black socks On the outside Because black is how I feel In the onside

In the real world there is no plot to speak of but plot devices everywhere

No shoes, no shirt, no service Just say no Do not pass go, do not collect $20… Don’t call us, we’ll call you No pain, no gain

In the digital age we let our fingers do the talking

We subtract to find the difference But at bottom There is no difference Leaving it up to us To make a difference

I can forgive myself anything exce… All of my contingency planning Was contingent upon Sending a contingent of negotiator…

There’s equality And there’s e-quality You know the former when you see i… You know the latter when it sees y…

The rug saves its harshest critique for the carpet

Friendly competition is heaven on… Culture war is hell on wheels Of time But now that our culture’s wheels… We’ll soon be out of time

Narrow minds see The narrow odds of making their es… Cleaving to the straight and narro… They’ve cleaved the path in two And because they can still see no…

The biggest stumbling block in bel… that God is in control is further accepting that He put us in charge