You can only e– ver explain things with that which cannot be explained
Instead of a scythe the mirthful reaper carried balloo… and we just floated away
God’s door is always open Because God’s door is Our open wounds
All cars have always been getaway cars because they tell the world how much you’re getting away with but now all cars are SUVs
You can’t prove that God exists But even if you could People would just say Correlation does not imply causati…
Coffee is for the middle-aged; we need both to shit and get shit done
If you want to know what the quarantine was like for me walk a mile in my new leather sweatpants
The truth staring us in the face Is always our own reflection– Seeing ourselves backwards Providing just enough distance For us to acknowledge the truth
At work They know me by my secret identity The mild-mannered Clark Kent But at home with my family I can relax and let them see the r…
Haunted by conflicted feelings in… my therapist and I finally traced… when I preferred Pepsi to Coke and McDonald’s to Burger King but B.K. served Pepsi
The sixth extinction was hardest of all on the balloon animal artists
I have half a mind to lose my mind and half a mind to find God The question, natch
Self-discipline is The only real self-indulgence Everything else is self-abnegation
My self-care plan includes a cheat day when I get to go to church
When we were kids we liked to spell Mississippi out loud for fun but we never pronounced the S’s–
