Yes, humans suck– that’s a universal The reason we haven’t been able to fix it is that being a human doesn’t suck for eve…

Because the ego mustn’t know its real mission lest it go back on accepting it, this message will self-destruct five seconds before life begins:

Did we stop playing the long game because it is the wrong game or is it only the wrong game because we’ve long since stopped p… Or is asking that question more of…

An uninterrupted winning streak Can only be had through An unchanging mean streak

On business trips to Moscow I never wear my three piece suit

Our central moral sentiment– that doing the right thing is its… hasn’t done us much good because through it we live in deni… that in this world

One thing I’ve learned is The good times Weren’t as good As I imagined them to be In fear of the bad times

When I was young we always said If you’re gonna be a bear be a grizzly bear! But now everyone’s become

The devil is ingenious: Since our minds are inside the min… The devil has designs on us Uploading our minds to the cloud– i.e. To hell–

I always thought saying slide trombone was like saying pizza pie until I heard about the valve trombone

My utopia is a dystopia where I get to say I told you so

Mother Goose was always considere… a good enough mother Until lately we realized her failure to smother It was unanimous

Like the distended sleeve On the fake Gordon Gartrell Denise made for Theo A giraffe’s long neck Reveals it as

As bumbling first mate to his capt… Gilligan wasn’t in charge But he was the star of the show Which is how the male ego understa…

At first we thought This changes everything We weren’t exactly wrong But, of course Everything is highly adaptable