Denial was a lot easier when your head was in the clouds but your memories were stored on microfiche

She believed me when I said that my life was based on a true story

You can’t take it with you tells us how to live well But we think it means living forev… and so, we’ve invested in Shell In the hopes that our savings will…

My mistake was believing that Smart was short for book smart When actually Book smart is short for book smart… I only figured this out

Late capitalism compensated for it… by blending it into its own propri… No one can redeem the past But everyone can redeem coupons!

In the first half of life I tried it your way and succeeded which is how I got over you In the second half of life I did it my way and failed

The moment I think It’s beneath me the solid ground collapses into a sinkhole where I remain

While I was waiting for them to come to their senses they came to my house

One of the great things about bein… Or, in my case, becoming Jewish Is that every Jew has a voice So, you would be forgiven for thin… Two Jews, two opinions

I’m sad to say I’ve never been happier And I’m happy to say I’ve never been sadder All of which is to say

A smart phone is 1/7 billionth of a doomsday machine

I had previously asserted that The only thing bigger than my ego Is God’s plan for me This remains the case But I would add that

It wasn’t until I earned my MBA that I understood the second comin… as an incredible opportunity for r… e.g, think about the implications… Jesus updated from sandals to toe…

People don’t generally like instru… because music without words is just math come alive Adding words to music takes it from counting time

In the new version of socialism You can own as much property as yo… You just can’t own your mistakes