In His infinite wisdom God made the pen mightier than the… Which is why the internet’s first… Is the First Amendment It’s only once free speech and fre…

In France everyone thinks Scotch tape is crap

The hardest thing to face is that your dreams won’t come tru… unless your fears come true first

Living well Means accepting risk Living hell Is risk-free

On business trips to Moscow I never wear my three piece suit

The new Speech Code prohibits use of the phrase “Speak for yourself” due to its aggressive tone and threatening connotations

I’ll go those who want to live on forever in their apartment… one better– I’ll never even leave

I thought I’d crafted a mystique when all I’d rea– lly made were mistakes

If I could change one thing about… I would stop trying to make myself Impervious to change

I used to stand on the moral high ground to look myself in the eye but now that I’ve plucked it out and thrown it away

Finding God is like that feeling… When you look everywhere for your… But can’t find them anywhere Until you realize they are on your… They don’t have a word for this fe…

A fair competition Is one in which No one can win So that everyone Has an equal chance

Yes, humans suck– that’s a universal The reason we haven’t been able to fix it is that being a human doesn’t suck for eve…

The remarkable thing about life is how time consuming it is

I like positive reinforcement As much as the next guy And the next guy Gets a lot of likes So, it’s back to the grindstone