When Eddie Money said “I’ve got two tickets to paradise” he didn’t mention that the paradise sales team only sells tickets in pairs

The first thing I fell in love with was her out-of-office notification

Our civilization is like an egg– It can withstand enormous pressure at the top (for the obvious reasons) and bottom

I was voluntold to make myself sca… But scarcely do they realize In pretending to give me a choice They have unwittingly given me an… Truth or dare?

It takes guts to admit you don’t belong but it’s easy to read a sign that says No admission

Like a fine wine liberalism only rises to the subli… with a good pairing

Being human beings Pacifists are just as obsessed With wielding power As everybody else And just as pathological as those

X marks the spot where cyborgs will receive their o– ver-the-air updates

There is no mind There is no body There is thinking and there is fee… And I know all too well How you feel

Social media has made the famous so accessible that it’s like you can see the face of… but instead of dying you want to take a nap

To be an apparatchik In our collective dissolution of… It matters not Which side you take Just as long as you remain

Just because we’re not in control Doesn’t mean we’re out of control The rest is commentary

I know I’m losing an argument with my friends when my thoughts turn to lunch I know I’m winning when I’m about to lose my lunch

In a failed democracy the one thing both sides can agree on is that the real traitors are the loyal opposition