7 in 10 Americans believe in heave… while only 6 in 10 believe in hell which is why the house always wins

I used to say Nothing to see here but now that I’ve embraced transparency there really is

My utopia is a dystopia where I get to say I told you so

We don’t understand our childhoods so we spend our adult lives reenacting them in the hope that an outside observer

I didn’t start consistently moonwa… until they required us to wear Fit… to qualify for our employee health…

Monotheism is true; Liberalism works Put them together and The true works

Thinking that the purpose of life… things looked good enough on the s… to believe that my life was 24-karat gold Who knew that the purpose of beaut…

In the digital age we let our fingers do the talking

Future generations will laugh at o… their augmented cognition instantl… how the magician’s lovely assistan… but there is one trick they will n… half in fear that it would crash t…

I never believed in automatic writ… until I tried my hand at TikTok and felt an invisible hand gently (as in pleasantly) but insistently (as in relievedly)

If we’re being scientific, then The more certain you are that quan… The less certain you become as to… i.e., It works like a charm And if we’re being honest, when

To be an apparatchik In our collective dissolution of… It matters not Which side you take Just as long as you remain

The most useful pawn is the one who believes himself king

To paraphrase Hitchcock a marriage is only as good as its villain

You know a hipster is aging gracef… When he comes to see that Objects in mirror Are closer than they appear