If you don’t believe I’m the Led Zeppelin of poetry just wait ‘til you see my poems go over like a lead balloon

The remarkable thing about life is how time consuming it is

What is wrong with the world today?: Dear Sir or Madam, You are.

I thought I was choosing between Life and death When really, I was choosing betwe… First and last place So, when I thought I chose life

I was always afraid to admit I knew they would knife me in the… Until I came to fear God Which is how I know He has my back

When I filter my selfie it becomes a safie

My favorite plot twists have always been quicksand and amnesia but I have this sinking feeling I’m forgetting something

In a few years we’ll all look back on liberal democracy and fake laugh

The fog of war is not knowing what’s coming next The fog of peace is thinking you know

The turning point came after I pegged my happi– ness to the dollar

If you give people enough space You’ll be amazed By their flexibility If you give people enough cyberspa… You’ll be aghast

It’s a truism that life is a roller coaster ride But it’s also true that unlike a roller coaster things get even more interesting

Acting locally solved climate change but now instead of a life or death situati… which at least had a degree of rom…

When the NSA reads my email are they ab– le to discern tone

There is a place Where children are to be seen And not heard Where all the children are raised To keep up appearances