Life is a trial in which the more you obey the guiltier you become Miraculously

In communist Russia no one wanted to be seen to be the first person to stop clapping for Stalin In America today

Jews have learned the hard way How to discern when someone has Failed to earn their F for failin… The tell is whenever a Jew just Living a life

God said satis– faction guaranteed; religion is all the fine print

Everyone has a gift in life and mine is knowing exactly how much I can bid in a silent auction without winning

Forgetting that God has promised To never repeat the Flood We’ve busied ourselves opening the… Expecting to end it all As we flood the planes

You’re supposed to love everybody but everybody knows that’s putting all of your eggs in one ba… so everybody eggs each other on in making a western omelet

I’m not afraid of jumping in front of a bus because I don’t want to jump in front of a bus I am afraid of

If Wile E. Coyote ever caught the Roadrunner he’d suddenly lose interest

Starting gun to my head I’ll finish what you started And run the race By running in place

The biggest change Since I found God Is who I am Trying to impress Which is how you know

Women give hints So that men will think It was their idea I’ve never been good at taking a h… But I’m good at following orders

We’ll know we’ve seen the Enlight… When we don’t know who we are From one moment to the next Because, where once The One thing we wanted

Mating For Life Saved My

Like a real life Picture of Dorian Gray my hair stays full even as my act wears thin