There’s always a deadline when I read a lifeline so I’ll cut right to the chase: Conjoined with your avatar you will live forever

A wise man once told me that there are two kinds of family prob… He said Family Problem #1 is not having a family

Immortality still involves death Because we all still fear death Enough to die from it Moshiach will be the one Whose immortality eliminates death

Miss Suzie had a scapegoat The scapegoat was Hillel Miss Suzie went to heaven The scapegoat went to Hello terminator

As long as I’m working I only feel free time slipping away The fear is that if I stopped working

If we’re being scientific, then The more certain you are that quan… The less certain you become as to… i.e., It works like a charm And if we’re being honest, when

Tom Brady keeps a portrait of him… that is becoming progressively more likable

“You want fries with that?” used to be a line to mock the working poor How ironic that “You want fries with that?”

I like to think of The signs we are all seeing As God’s soft opening

We’re all like unharvested potatoe… covered in dirt thinking that means we’ve got the dirt on each other

But surely, you’ve noticed by now That all progress is incremental Across increments of time Because all progress is time-bound And the unfolding of time

In the new version of socialism You can own as much property as yo… You just can’t own your mistakes

The usual cruelty Is having multiple children And enforcing a hierarchy In order to keep the peace Unusual cruelty

Two roads diverged the one to the left leading up the garden path the one to the right leading down the garden path

You know you must die and yet you must live You can never know if you’re right and yet you must choose So it’s not