We ask people How are you doing? because it’s the easiest way to prevent them from actually telling us how they are doing

The pandemic lockdowns were the pa… and penultimate nonevent because o… limits of human imagination– We could only imagine shutting everything down

You can’t believe without doubt But if you only believe in doubt Then you’re doubting doubt Which is like Exhaling and exhaling

Entire lives can be lived waiting for the other shoe to drop although often this just means you’re being crushed at a snail’s…

Happy me, happy precis: Happy wife, happy life

Higher education purports to prepare you for life when really it exists to indebt you for life, expanding campus ideology

Guilty, I’d pled when left for dead for what I had said but as the undead squeezed my bonehead

If the world exists on a continuum between utopia and dystopia but instead of polar opposites utopia and dystopia are both hell then at the exact midpoint

If my wife could re-draft she says she’d still take me but only after trading back to the second round

Like Jacob If you wrestle with the divine Through the darkest hours You will get hurt and limp away Which we call experiencing loss

Immortality still involves death Because we all still fear death Enough to die from it Moshiach will be the one Whose immortality eliminates death

Funny how as the left lost its sense of humor it became a joke

Post-pandemic life is a broken rec… Where they keep saying If it ain’t broke Don’t fix it

The essay portion of the test Was explaining why The test only consists Of multiple-choice questions So, I wrote:

You need a high in– come to claim the moral high ground on your taxes