In the end no one could be held accountable for the catastrophe not because there weren’t plenty of warning signs

We hit it off: she’d declawed her cats and I’d plucked my cacti’s needles

I don’t care about birds but I thrill when the squirrels can’t get to the birdseed

There is no mind There is no body There is thinking and there is fee… And I know all too well How you feel

I’m not scared of the explicit danger I’m afraid of the implicit threats

If you don’t believe I’m the Led Zeppelin of poetry just wait ‘til you see my poems go over like a lead balloon

When God said Let there be light What exactly did He enable? One clue is that light behaves As both a particle and a wave

You’ll know you’ve weathered their gaslighting if you feel dazed but not confused

My self-care plan includes a cheat day when I get to go to church

The screen you’re looking at seven hours a day is actually a magnifying glass

It’s always a bad idea To admit you have no idea Put another way: No idea is a bad idea You get the idea

In wristwatch advertisements the doomsday clock is always set to ten past ten

You’re only truly clever When the devil says “Live forever If only from God you’ll sever” And you reply “Never For God is always my lever

A fishbowl made of screen glass is a fishbowl made for one that is magically adjacent to every other fishbowl in this world we conjured where

We’ve gone from individuals distinguishing themselves from the… begging to differ– “Whatever it is, I’m against it”- to groups