I’ve wasted most of my life wondering Why do I believe in God? when I should have been asking Why does God believe in me?

Like generals husbands are always preparing to f… while their wives are always prepa… to fight the last just war

We spend our whole lives going in… Our mistake is believing that we’r… When we’re always either Slowly spiraling upwards Or caught in a downward spiral

After years of therapy the stump came to see that there was an I, two even, in the giving tree

At the very beginning of the Tora… Just after enabling the light God separated the waters of the de… And of the heavens (rendered into… With the land

I am my own worst enemy But God is my greatest ally I like my odds

God’s not buying it Until you own it– Are we clear?

Imagine all the things They wouldn’t allow If they were invented now Anything fast: No motorcycles

No shoes, no shirt, no service Just say no Do not pass go, do not collect $20… Don’t call us, we’ll call you No pain, no gain

Can you outrun your problems? Maybe, if you could run at the spe… But we’ll never know Because, as Einstein explained Running at the speed of light is i…

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and antisemitism

Wittgenstein began by telling us t… Face the facts But the fact is A cold, hard bottle In the form of our addiction to

I don’t believe in myself So, I must control God I believe in God So, I can control myself

I went to bed after a gabfest and had a bad dream that I woke up on, nay in, silent retreat

Some people have baggage; I come with furniture Fortunately, my wife enjoys rearranging