tear me limb from limb turn me to dust my life impacts no one why do i exist? i am disappointing

it is so incredibly draining to feel so passionless. i just want to feel useful interesting

jotting down my thoughts trying to make sense of it all shaking hands stiff fingers i cannot even self soothe anymore

i want it to work so badly but i don’t think it ever will unfortunately i am putting too much effort in once again

i hope that every time that you see this shade of green it drives you mad i hope that every time that you hear a laugh like mine

i love you more than i ever though… you fell into my life when i didn’t expect a thing you fell into my life when i needed you most

i feel... “okay” really that means i’ve been dissoc… it means distracted it means ignoring what upsets me it means crying less,

always been taught to prioritize other people’s pain over my own trained selfish if i speak about myself at… supposed to normalize anger

i cannot rest my heavy eyes due to… and no matter how hard i try and t… you’re always there laughing as if you belong if only you’d visit me in the fles…

i’m always repressing my urges to scream to bash my head into the wall to cry in the shower set to its ho… i hope one day they realize

i crave your touch trace my bones caress my skin hold me close never let me go

i don’t want to ruin your night i don’t want to always seem broken always bringing you sadness that y… soon you will be tired of it i am not as fun or interesting as…

i have weeds growing from my skin i am one with earth and still feeling unnatural i sit, water pours i am blooming

i have been trying so hard to heal stuck in the past, despite my effo… life in the sun felt so good i only wish that i could have stay… wandering aimlessly now that i was

same old patterns, willing to give my love away. but what’s the shame in that? yes it hurts - never quite reciprocated -