If you pursue any vice long enough you’ll either become bored or addi… scratch that– you’ll either become bored and qui… or bored and addicted
You’ll be able to tell that nobody knows what anything is wort… when no one knows who they can tru…
Having heard that God is everywhe… and failing to see Him anywhere the unbeliever deduces that God is neither here nor there when, in fact, God is in the air
If you lower the status of all mal… The high-status males will be aver… And the rest will be bottom feeder… Eating away at the foundation
When I caught my wife cutting up… she said it was to prevent birds getting stuck in them like six-pac…
It is said that The truth will set you free And while this may be true It goes without saying that Lies will give you power over othe…
I fist met Cap’n Crunch back when he was 2nd Lieutenant C… He did this weird thing where he’d… in the powdered milk powder and sa… Stays crunchy even in milk!
If I live forty more years I figure my life will pay for itself
Ever since I got my first smartphone it feels like I’m visiting a museum and all the decent human beings
Life is short because God knows to leave us wanting more
It turns out they were right when they removed the self-destruc… explaining You won’t be needing this anymore now that you have autocorrect
It’s a lot easier for men to dwell in the mystery of what a woman wants than to acknowledge what it is exactly that
The second half of life is a second chance to give as much as I have received
I know I think, Therefore I am All knowing Unless
I risked loss And lost; I win
