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Chris Gaither

Chris Gaither

Sedate Expectations

A charmed half-life
is the time taken to
lower your expectations
to half their original value

Other works by Chris Gaither...
Chew on This

Cyberspace has divided us By walling each of us into Our own private nihilo So, we’ll all be able to recognize… Because he will be able to walk th…
Love Puts the Fist in Pacifist

Pacifism is the ultimate weapon For if you can prohibit your enemy From defending himself Then all that’s left Is to love him to death
The Reward for Good Work Is More Work Unless You Prefer Paperwork

In this earthly abode ‘Twas sadness that flowed With each new download Of binary code To ease our workload
It’s a Slow Process, It Costs a Lot of Money, and It Involves a Lot of Drudgery, but in the End, You Get to Be Alone with Your Clone

Imagine all the things They wouldn’t allow If they were invented now Anything fast: No motorcycles
Haiku

God said satis– faction guaranteed; religion is all the fine print
Postponing the Inevitable

In the act of creating new life men presage their relationship with death
Buy Me Some Time

What if Vladimir and Estragon had actually been stalling for Godot
All Separation Is an Illusion

The pleasure in a magic show is wondering how the magician did it
I Never Knew That

People think that the spork didn’t include any aspects of the… because the serrated edge of the prospective all-in-one utensil kept slicing open the focus group…
Life-and-Death Decisions

A materialist looks at life And sees death A believer looks at death And sees life
The Thrill Is Gone, Long Live the Thrill!

On the one hand even the talking cure can’t cure death On the other hand you can’t talk it to death
My Biggest Mistake

When the devil told me “Fuck-up is a noun And so are you” I didn’t know if he meant I’m also a fuck-up
Haiku

When the NSA reads my email are they ab– le to discern tone
“Ahsoka Tano stated that anyone, with enough time, could learn to harness the Force. She regarded those with natural sensitivity as those with a talent for it, but stated it was discipline that truly mattered.”

The dark side of the Force Is the force of habit The light side of the Force Is the force of habit
The Unconscious Is Infinite so that Our Consciousness Can Grow Forever

You have to do the right thing aut… At the same time you are doing it… This seems impossible because No one has ever quite done it Which is why you might call it



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