I’m always leaving things at church so the lost and found won’t be empty
The B is silent in subtle but spo… B-cause a B-ing B-comes human by saying the quiet… The B-all and end-all Is the B-ginning and the end
They call it open heart surgery But no one says open brain surgery Because, by default Our minds are closed And the only way to change minds
Because bodies make a fart joke of… etiquette used to dictate that whe… passed gas at, e.g., a dinner part… the polite thing to do was to pret… the fart never happened
On a gray scale Of one to ten I’m a perfect five
Can you outrun your problems? Maybe, if you could run at the spe… But we’ll never know Because, as Einstein explained Running at the speed of light is i…
I believe in God and I believe in liberalism The tension between these two beliefs
I may not be the man who has everything but I’m the man who knows what to get for the man who has everything
The one path to a sustainable future is understanding that people will only agree to cuts in their standard of livin…
The free food programs during the pandemic were great So, to compensate people began to ration love
The difference between A garden variety bullshitter And a bullshit artist Is that bullshitting is easy But a bullshit artist
If you want to remain married one partner should stay busy moving the goalposts while the other focuses on running out the clock
I was happy alone Because being together Meant being lonely Until you showed me That being together
A poem is like a dream In that it shows us the truth Without telling it Because, truth be told There’s no telling
Life isn’t perfect Because God’s love is
