Inevitably my spirit vegetable was rutabaga

Men are from Mars Women are from everywhere else

I told my daughter Let me give you some free advice: You get what you pay for And she said I don’t get it

People don’t like surprises so I tell them they’re in for a real surprise which gives them something to look…

People have long complained of working in silos so it’s been amazing to see them embrace putting in all of their emotional…

I’m not aware of the lies I tell myself Who is?!? But the white lies

Now Is not the time for Waiting to decide; Now Is the time for

Hell is a bottomless pit Making the first step towards heav… Hitting rock bottom I’m addicted to control And I’m handing control back to G…

I was a bullshit artist until I realized a career as a bullshit scientist paid better

At first we thought This changes everything We weren’t exactly wrong But, of course Everything is highly adaptable

Jews learned to read between the l… when time and again they were granted a lifetime membe… only to find that their membership could still be lapsed

I’ve never won an argument with my wife but since I learned to let her have the last word I’ve consistently covered the spre…

If I say yes That’s just a guess If I say no Then I don’t know If I say maybe

I always liked making people laugh until my undergraduates told me that it was an abuse of power asym…