Because, per Morrissey “We hate it when our friends becom… we got rid of success by eliminating all competition except for the number of friends

Almost every student prefers and l… But will almost always take the vi… Because those classes are always e…

The US Constitution rules out cruel and unusual punishment but that and a nickel will get you 1% of a cup of coffee now that cruelty is the usual

Having heard that God is everywhe… and failing to see Him anywhere the unbeliever deduces that God is neither here nor there when, in fact, God is in the air

When I think of everything God has done for me I cry like Crying Jordan Would you believe With God

The stapler inevitably jams And it’s always the stapler That jams the copier Except for the times it jams When you try to copy something you…

Your search for a vein is now done in vain under the soft tyranny of wireless narcotics in whose touchless embrace

Self-discipline is The only real self-indulgence Everything else is self-abnegation

God gives us what is necessary but not sufficient because nothing is ever sufficient

I have not loved my neighbor as my… but I have consistently greeted hi… with an insouciant bonhomie

If we learned anything from the pandemic it’s that people much prefer being left to their own devices over

I’ve been racking my brains for the perfect response to accusations of perfectionism only to land at a conundrum: a confession of false modesty is

If the world exists on a continuum between utopia and dystopia but instead of polar opposites utopia and dystopia are both hell then at the exact midpoint

Just as the yin-yang symbol portrays both dominant sections with a small portion of the opposi… lack sows an abundance of desire and abundance lacks lack

The faceless horde finds strength in numbers by losing themselves in the crowd But when your numbers are small