In the state of nature You live by the sword And die by the sword In civilization The pen is mightier

You could say I tried stand-up but for the audience it was more like when the flight attendant demonstrates how to put on your own oxygen mask…

In the past walking into a cathedral made you feel small Now it makes you feel fat

A memory hole should be just deep enough to bury yourself up to the neck– Any deeper

We like to think That the solution to our problems Is coming together As one human family When this whole time

The only thing Bigger than my ego Is God’s plan for me

The internet is king And every social media post the sw… Screening out anyone who sees in t… The red flag of totalitarianism And only letting through

At the end of The Sorcerer’s App… as chaos reaches a crescendo the sorcerer appears just in time and sets things back in order Apprenticed to no one,

Domination is feudal But resistance seems futile And lo, we canoodle With the large standard poodle We all know as boodle

If opposites attract Then the most magnetic leaders Are our polar opposites We are drawn to them Because they are opposed

I’ve been racking my brains for the perfect response to accusations of perfectionism only to land at a conundrum: a confession of false modesty is

How much Are you willing to sacrifice For what You cannot have

For the antisemite the Jews’ most galling offense is the audacity of their survival, decoding the latest antisemitic sl… the smear of “Jewish Supremacy”-

It’s easy to choose between good and bad So, when there are no good choices most people take the easy way out

Riddle me this: The Riddler commits crimes of the… By loving each and every one of us… But always leaves clues behind In the form of a riddle