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Chris Gaither

Chris Gaither

The Ur-Humble Brag

I
Never
Win
Anything

Other works by Chris Gaither...
The Wishbone’s Connected to the Collarbone

Where my father’s faith led him to wear a clerical collar I struggle with faith much as I do with ring around the…
Control Needs Can Never Be Met

Power is a measure of the capacity to cope with our lack of control and in wielding our power to take control
“Ahsoka Tano stated that anyone, with enough time, could learn to harness the Force. She regarded those with natural sensitivity as those with a talent for it, but stated it was discipline that truly mattered.”

The dark side of the Force Is the force of habit The light side of the Force Is the force of habit
Oral B-minus

Would my dentist still want me to floss if he knew that’s how I justified not going to the dentist
I’m a Scorpio

Easy to please but problematic to appease
“Oh no! We’ve got to go through it!”

Get back! Problem is The internet will still be there w… Get back
You Never Forget How to Ride a Bike, but You Have to Forget How to Walk

Learning how to walk is learning how to fall forward while remembering to catch yoursel… again and again Walking is the illusion
 1
“All for freedom and for pleasure”

Everybody wants to rule the world And along come the Jews Claiming that God rules the world But nobody wants God to rule the… Because everybody wants to rule th…
It’s Not Desire Unless It Can Be Put Into Words, and the Word for Our Deepest Desire Is God

Desire is so hard to put into word… In satisfying our desire God provides just enough Which, given the nature of our des… Is more than enough
“I didn’t inhale”

You can’t believe without doubt But if you only believe in doubt Then you’re doubting doubt Which is like Exhaling and exhaling
Greetings

One of the great rabbinic sages ex… That this world’s three most inten… Are Jews, dogs, and roosters My take? No one greets the day like a roost…
Now That I Have Your Attention

The crucial moment in my elevator pitch comes when I hit the emergency stop button
Bread Alone

Going home had come to feel like dining in a restaurant where the food is celebrated but the customers merely tolerated
Ceci n’est pas un telephone

A smart phone is 1/7 billionth of a doomsday machine
I’ll Never Fit In (My Big Boy Pants)

In Mexico City men never wear shorts and if that’s where my anxiety dreams are set they could represent



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