Much like nuclear weapons the whole point of having vacation days is never to use them

I couldn’t believe that my first e… was still carrying a torch for me and then I saw all my other ex’s b… carrying a pitch fork

Faith is an act of will power And since faith isn’t knowledge Because it necessarily involves do… For now, the act is always a predi… I will believe

When the highly educated play dumb and you are dragooned into spelling it out for them know that their obtuse dissembling bespeaks regression to the oral st…

In days gone by we said you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink In these more opportune times it’s widely understood that

It was when Socrates ate the frui… that he added this second line of… I know that my wife knows everythi…

The central paradox of our broken world is known through the feeling of unsurprised disappointment Hope is the belief

The blood-brain barrier is semiper… Because your heart pumps out love By the truckload

Now that mindfulness is the official state religion the attention economy will be centrally planned

People are like whales who have gotten sick of plankton

The three most powerful words in the English language are not I love you; they are So be it

I know a guy who knows Paul Simon who told me the real reason for th… was that Paul got sick of Garfunk… stalling for thyme

In school they put me in the gifted class but as one of my favorite teachers finally put it “There’s just something missing”

Eat, drink And be merry But don’t drink And derive

The dark side of the Force Is the force of habit The light side of the Force Is the force of habit