You can’t cut the cord When you are the cord Connecting what you’ve been told y… With How you will inflict that burden o…

You can’t make art worth dying for with what art is worth paying for

If nothing is possible Because of the inevitable– We mortals all die in the end– Then we are left to do the impossi… And become immortal by

No sooner were the gates free of b… than we’d paired off and squared off as fascists vs. totalitarians And as for the dissidents not spoi…

When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs

The original version’s working title was The Giveth and Taketh Away Tree but Silverstein couldn’t get it published

I was happy alone Because being together Meant being lonely Until you showed me That being together

The quartermaster is responsible f… and nothing more Some of you will be content to half-ass the rest of it Some of you will be willing to ris…

The screen you’re looking at seven hours a day is actually a magnifying glass

I’ve started blind copying my wife on emails to myself

A materialist looks around at ever… It’s all an accident His friend, the believer, adds his… It was an accident waiting to happ… The materialist and the believer a…

In phase one we lived in order to live In phase two we talked in order to live In phase three,

Seeing as no good deed goes unpuni… Everyone else turned the job offer… And went back to waiting on their… Only the Jews understood that In the real world

When the ruffian challenges the professional by querying Am I here to amuse you? the professional displays his domi…

None of us can see further than our own noses but Pinocchio can see further than the rest of us