Why bother keeping score when death assures that things always end in a tie Soon you’ll be able to get rid of death

If, after 10/7 you have the chutzpah to ask What just happened? their answer– It didn’t just happen–

When I asked Permission to come aboard The ship of fools They said Everything is permitted

Those who can do talk shows Those who can’t teach others to show, don’t tell

Unlike the Americans and the Engl… who are divided by a common langua… the Americans and the Parisians are divided by a common symptom: disappointment

Afraid that everything I wanted was nothing to write home about I was left with nothing to write home about

I can’t get no satisfaction except self-satisfaction and I pity the fool who would want that

Your search for a vein is now done in vain under the soft tyranny of wireless narcotics in whose touchless embrace

Mother Goose was always considere… a good enough mother Until lately we realized her failure to smother It was unanimous

Marriage is the only place I’m neither feature nor bug but both

Keep in mind that if you’re going to jump from the frying pan into the fire a golden parachute just buys you plenty of time to ponder

Lunch is born free but everywhere is in chain restaurants

By preserving crucial memories Your amygdala prepares for the fut… Through understanding the past By digging strategic memory holes The internet controls the present

We ask people How are you doing? because it’s the easiest way to prevent them from actually telling us how they are doing

Somewhere between 27% and 53% of… none of which students can legally… is wasted Let’s split the difference and call it 40%