If you’re going to take sick leave… take FMLA
Post-pandemic life is a broken rec… Where they keep saying If it ain’t broke Don’t fix it
It never snows anymore in Baltimore but it did before you left open the refrigerator doo…
I remember saying to myself Okay, this is it the moment of truths
With all other things human beings must guard against what is too good to be true in order to stay alive With God
On a gray scale Of one to ten I’m a perfect five
There are only two real superpowers: unacknowledged plagiarism and begrudging cooperation
The funny thing is if you’re continually nervous about getting into a wreck you become a nervous wreck and then
It takes billions of years for the… of stars to reach us on earth but for the light its passage is instantaneous Our current relationship with God
The lion hasn’t lain down with the lamb if, in its slumber the lion dreams it’s a lamb
When I filter my selfie it becomes a safie
Do me a favor and riddle me this: Is he favored to win Because he’s our favorite Or is he our favorite Because he’s favored to win?
I thought I’d crafted a mystique when all I’d rea– lly made were mistakes
Hell isn’t other people– Hell is waiting in line behind other people
There was always an urn on the man… made from terra cotta Little then did I know it was for the remains of the persona non gra…
