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Chris Gaither

Chris Gaither

Layers of Hell

Hell is other people
Purgatory is other people’s money
Heaven is money

Other works by Chris Gaither...
New York Feels Like Clown Shoes to Me

Everyone has a shoe size and a city size– I wear an 11 and a half and a 600,000
The Royal Oui

If I say yes That’s just a guess If I say no Then I don’t know If I say maybe
Saved by the Gel

My life was about to go down the drain but the drain was clogged
Ignorance Is Half-in for a Ha’penny, Blissed-out for a Pound

Faced with a forced choice The agnostic feigns ignorance For if you ask a woman to marry yo… And she says I don’t know
How to Get to the Other Side

Don’t fear death– Time is the chisel With which we sculpt the infinite Or if, like me, you work with word… Each day is a first edition
Fake It ‘Til You Make It

History won’t begin when we elimin… hoping that now everyone will get… Because step 1 in ending status i… and step 2 turns out to be elimina… This simulacrum that we live in ai…
Before: “What a piece of junk!” After: “She’ll make .5 past lightspeed. She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid. I’ve made a lot of special modifications myself.”

Once abandoned You may as well approach life– Meaning God– With reckless abandon Because what have you got to lose
The Squeeze Play

With social media You can squeeze All of the people All of the time
When Choosing Between Window Shopping and Windows Shopping, Remember That God Is One and Go With the Singular

What’s the difference between wind… When what you desire is behind gla… And Windows shopping When what you desire is behind a s… When it’s behind glass
Ultimately, the Only Truth We Can Tell Is Telling Time, and It’s Time to Make the Donuts

We all know what time it is– It’s time to get to work Unless it’s Shabbos Which is timeless Making Shabbos the whole
“Today is the greatest day I’ve ever known”

My biggest mistake In fantasy football Is expecting today To be like yesterday Come to think of it
Your Ego Will Keep Shedding Bodies Until Your Soul Sheds Its Ego

You can die a million times Without a single ego death But one ego death is worth One God
“Prepare to Make the Jump to Lightspeed”

It takes billions of years for the… of stars to reach us on earth but for the light its passage is instantaneous Our current relationship with God
The Shame of It All

I am just like everyone else In that I am nothing like anyone… Which is how I am one While we too are one
There Is No One to Fear but Fear Itself

Everyone wants to live forever because fear is self-perpetuating No one wants to overcome the fear… because courage is selfless



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