He was the kind of husband who when his wife asked him to stop sa… complied but started looking for excuses to… panda bear

When the ruffian challenges the professional by querying Am I here to amuse you? the professional displays his domi…

In cyberspace We play Simon Says In an endless repetition of Repeat after me In the world to come

There are two kinds of people in t… Those who believe in God And those who believe in God But also believe in God You can tell the latter

Before you know it The next big thing Is already The next best thing I suppose there’s worse things tha…

My wife– All 5 feet of her– Busted me out of prison So that I could get back To a life of time

When God said Let there be light What exactly did He enable? One clue is that light behaves As both a particle and a wave

We think nothing’s shocking since we’ve seen it all when really it’s because we’re blind to the obvious

When the NSA reads my email are they ab– le to discern tone

Evil is cruelty plus pleasure

Democracy is a game of bridge where each coalition must partner… and going for broke requires not just suicidal risk but a suicide pact,

The cogito may be airtight but its reverse– I am, therefore I think– is less certain

This ain’t culture war– it’s one cult in action with two rival factions

In a real life version of the ugly duckling discovering h… I was the reject popsicle stick who at long last found out I was a handy tongue depressor

It’s not that you’re jeal– ous, but that you guard your jeal– ousy jealously