Because a man is only as good as h… you’ll know he means what he says when you see him do it But on social media a man is only his words

Social media is a dream come true– Finally, I can keep up appearances while letting myself go

I have two dogs Which means I’m in double trouble I have three daughters Which means

I’m no angel But I have two angels– One to protect me from others And one to protect me from myself So, I was never alone

In the cold war the gravest danger was recklessnes… which we solved with Mutually Assured Destruction The culture war

To those who say they’ll keep working until they die I say don’t die–

We’re all like unharvested potatoe… covered in dirt thinking that means we’ve got the dirt on each other

The number one rule For doing a number on us Is taking a number Because when our number comes up It’s only ever because our days ar…

If we’re to believe the internet a hero’s journey consists of a hero who goes on an adventure, is victorious in a decisive crisis… and comes home changed or transfor…

When you come in peace I fall to pieces And then collect myself For the gathering storm

Instead of shooting bullets into t… to celebrate I raise my leaf blower towards the… On blue moons I do this from my jet ski

Fox News said it was “Fair and B… which supposedly meant that it was… because it was balanced but really it meant that it was fa… because it wasn’t balanced–

I try to win but I don’t play to win; I play to play

If they were ever only attacking a… there’d be nor real need for the l… But the act of distorting an idea is always a pretext to the taking… So, you’ll know it’s a strawman fa…

Where my father’s faith led him to wear a clerical collar I struggle with faith much as I do with ring around the…