If you’re going to take sick leave… take FMLA

Make no bones about it I can’t feel a thing in my bones So, I reach for my phone

Death and danger are our lot Look at what my kid can do is what’s been wrought

We are gathered around our phones Like little campfires And all we ever hear Are scary stories

If you are taught that asserting yourself is wrong your only defense will be victimho… Knowing this we can reverse engineer

I was always afraid to admit I knew they would knife me in the… Until I came to fear God Which is how I know He has my back

If you need to appear weak to access power you’ll end up weak-kneed and abuse your power

But surely, you’ve noticed by now That all progress is incremental Across increments of time Because all progress is time-bound And the unfolding of time

I thought they’d finally say Mea culpa But they still just said Me

It is only when you conduct a fearless moral inventory that you will come to fear God because you knew the right thing t… but did the wrong thing anyway

As the public version of one’s pri… social media is the recurring drea… of showing up at work without any… come true

Poets are to their poems As parents are to their children Preparing them for the world Without knowing what they will do

It’s not that you’re jeal– ous, but that you guard your jeal– ousy jealously

In Putin’s version of Let’s Make… he shows you what’s behind Door #1… - You let Putin run you through w… AND what’s behind Door #2: - You fall on your sword to atone…

Our lightweight cat litter develop… hit a speed bump when we realized it was worth its weight in gold