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Chris Gaither

Chris Gaither

It Takes Two to Tango, but One to Commando

My wife is philosophically opposed
to my habit of justifying things,
say a bag of the really good kind of potato chips,
with the phrase:
I deserve it
 
She’s surely right when she explains that
none of us are entitled to one single crumb–
It’s all a gift freely given
 
And since God understands
how children react to gifts
He has given us all
the very same gift
 
But as I accept
the responsibility of my freedom
I’m free to wonder
what my wife might say
if I told her the truth:
I don’t deserve her
 
My best guess is that she’d reply:
Yes dear, but we deserve each other

Autres oeuvres par Chris Gaither...
Life Is Full of Surprises; People Rarely Are

Keep your friends close your enemies closer and your neighbor closest
It Was All a Dream

My favorite plot twists have always been quicksand and amnesia but I have this sinking feeling I’m forgetting something
Imagine All the People

It’s easier for capitalism to end than to imagine the end of capital…
The Pursuit of Crappiness

The only reason to pursue fame is to forestall the possibility that you’re the kind of person who would die wishing you’d been more famous
A Series of Unpopular Dissents

No shoes, no shirt, no service Just say no Do not pass go, do not collect $20… Don’t call us, we’ll call you No pain, no gain
A Device Is a Scheme to Deceive Others, but a Hand-held Device Is a Scheme to Deceive Ourselves

It’s up to us Whether we do what we know is wron… Because it feels good in the momen… But if we do The devil is always there
Sweatpantsdemic

All dressed down with nowhere to go
The First and Most Important Step Is Getting the Lie of the Land

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and antisemitism
Time Flies When You’re Having None

Time flies when you’re having fun And the key to fun is wanting Not having
Haiku

God’s command to cells was slightly different: be fruitful and divide
 1
All Diets Are Plant-Based on Hard Facts

In boxing you can be the real champ by beating the man who beat the man Just so
My Parents Were Afraid I’d Become an Artist; I’m Afraid So I Became an Artist

People think artists are painting, dancing, writing, or… when really they’re all whistling past the graveyard
 1
Lord, Hear Our Prayer

God broke in half-way through my prayer and said You’re on mute
 1
All the Signs Were There, but We Missed It

Anxiety, like loneliness, is a sig… that something is very wrong and amidst an epidemic of anxiety with no end in sight the greatest danger lies in
Lay It on Me

It’s not about you; It’s about me– This is how you know She’s breaking up with you It’s not about you;



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