The lie you chose to believe Always contains the truth That has chosen you The lie is comforting Because the truth is disturbing

Just as He covered 2/3 of the Ear… God made us each 2/3 water To make it obvious But not too obvious That we don’t ever die

The only way to know you’re not paranoid is to stay connected at all times so you can rest assured

In real life we used to say I’ll see your talk and raise you action but that was just too risky Preferring no stakes

Self-inflicted wounds Are those that result from Trying to cut yourself off from G… Because that is impossible So, you just end up cutting yourse…

You can watch my disappearing act as long as you’ve turned your back on the light allowing you to see a mere shadow of myself

My wife wears her heart on her sle… Yet remains a total mystery– How can she be so sure? I’m sure I don’t know But sure enough

Eat, drink And be merry But don’t drink And derive

Life is simple; the meaning of life is complicated As a man I’m a simple creature but I’ve been married long enough… that women are complicated

Just because we’re not in control Doesn’t mean we’re out of control The rest is commentary

All of the lakes are great But one of the lakes is superior

After the sexual revolution men thought they could finally get what they want AND what they… while women believed they could at… get what they need AND what they…

We put tracking collars around ani… We put smartphones in our hands And in holding them We have our hands around our necks

Don’t think of a pink elephant and while you’re at it Don’t kill the messenger

Instead of using our flashlights to move through the wilderness in the dark, slowly we believe that if we just keep shining them about the dark forest