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Chris Gaither

Chris Gaither

I’m Learning Hebrew and the Hardest Words for Me Are Those That Start with the “Tz” Sound; Nevertheless, I’m Wearing Tzitzit Because God Is My Tzur

Hell is a bottomless pit
Making the first step towards heaven
Hitting rock bottom
 
I’m addicted to control
And I’m handing control back to God
One day at a time
 
God is my rock

Other works by Chris Gaither...
Done Deal

If you want to ruin a man give him what he wants– This is the devil’s only secret
Why I Chose a Career in Non-prophets

Don’t think of a pink elephant and while you’re at it Don’t kill the messenger
“The Light From the (First Nuclear) Explosion Was Seen Clearly at Albuquerque”

The difference between the Pax Romana and the Pax Americana is that while all roads lead to Rome
Free Breach

I disapprove of what you say but I will defend to the death your right not to mean it
She Wasn’t a Librarian Yet When I Married Her; It Was Only Later That I Found God

My wife is a lot like God If God weren’t perfect Like Him, she’s my toughest criti… But also my fiercest champion
Every Page of the Torah Is an FAQ Page

Not one of us Has all the answers But we all Have all the answers Because there is only
The Complete Works of God and Man

Monotheism is true; Liberalism works Put them together and The true works
In the World to Come There Will Be Neither Capitalism nor Socialism Because People Will Finally Grasp the Difference Between Wants and Needs, i.e. There Will Finally Be Monotheism

The difference between God and human beings Is that God gives you what you deserve Which is always what you need
“It goes on and on and on and on”

Seeing as I’m just the messenger It would be easier to tell you Than to show you Because words are all I’ve got But since, if I told you
Strident Lucidity

I thought my alarm clock woke me up each day but the day I realized it had always been a false alarm was the day I realized
Fake It ‘Til You Take It

All consciousness is false consciousness but some consciousnesses are easier to fake
A Flower Is a Weed with Better Adjectives

Some people are orchids Some people are dandelions Some people like the ugly duckling are orchids who think they’re dand…
Don’t Play Dumbstruck; We All Know the Truth, We Just Can’t Handle It

It’s true that some people have al… But it’s not dumb luck that nobody… The way it works is that People get as much truth as they c… And the rest of their load is good…
What Good Is a Killer Bee Who Lost Its Killer Instinct?

When people ask me How are you doing? I tell them That’s above my pay grade
Why I Am So Unwise

I spent most of my life naively believing that people mean what they say Then I came to understand that even when people don’t mean what t…



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