What is wrong with the world today?: Dear Sir or Madam, You are.
The closest I ev– er came to forming Voltron was using Groupon
My psychic told me I needed to ta… I said I already knew that I came here to look before I leap
In regular old capitalism we used to say time is money In the attention economy we say
When Eddie Money said “I’ve got two tickets to paradise” he didn’t mention that the paradise sales team only sells tickets in pairs
They say love it or leave it yet what do you do if you love your country but it leaves you
One thing I’ve learned is The good times Weren’t as good As I imagined them to be In fear of the bad times
We’re all like unharvested potatoe… covered in dirt thinking that means we’ve got the dirt on each other
I won’t rest ‘til O– prah puts me on the cover of her magazine
In days gone by we said you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink In these more opportune times it’s widely understood that
I bought a Toyota because it’s bulletproof to compensate for the fact that I’m not even rubber bulletproof
Life as we know it Is a competition for status In this competition Socialists are unequaled As are you and I
The opposite of a gun to my head Is a claim on my heart And, claim on my heart I’d say The truth will get you
I don’t have any delusions of grandeur; I have delusions of posthumous grandeur that would retroactively nullify
It’s not that I’ve often taken leave of my senses but that I can never take a hint
