I bought a Toyota because it’s bulletproof to compensate for the fact that I’m not even rubber bulletproof

The sign used to say: Gentlemen may remove their hats All others must Now it reads: Ladies and gentlemen may wear thei…

I thought my alarm clock woke me up each day but the day I realized it had always been a false alarm was the day I realized

We’ll never win a power struggle But that’s never stopped us trying And we always end up tying Because our fates are tied togethe…

We ask people How are you doing? because it’s the easiest way to prevent them from actually telling us how they are doing

You need a high in– come to claim the moral high ground on your taxes

The Cheshire Cat and Schrodinger’s Cat couldn’t agree on a place to meet

I remember saying to myself Okay, this is it the moment of truths

The less you need to control the more powerful you

In showing us what darkness looks… fog is equal and opposite to stars lighting up the night sky

You have bathed in the Fountain o… Every time you wash off the sweat After a hard day’s work

In hopes of finally nailing down All the right answers We converted English into math Filtering language through ones an… Making all stories into word probl…

I’ve been racking my brains for the perfect response to accusations of perfectionism only to land at a conundrum: a confession of false modesty is

I’ve done the math and the whole is only greater than the sum of its parts when the group is made up of individuals

The word of God is written in invisible ink and must be lived in order to be truly seen unless and until those lives are d…