The answer man is left with a ques… What does a woman want? The question woman is stuck with a… A good man is hard to find but eas…

Miss Suzie had a scapegoat The scapegoat was Hillel Miss Suzie went to heaven The scapegoat went to Hello terminator

My wife now relates to me very much as she does to stinky cheese

Everyone who uses language believes in God Prayer is the act of admitting that you believe in God

There were 102 passengers on the… So why only 101 dalmatians?

I was voluntold to make myself sca… But scarcely do they realize In pretending to give me a choice They have unwittingly given me an… Truth or dare?

I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny

Is it live? Let’s go to instant replay For constant analysis While we wait and see And while we wait for it

A smart phone is 1/7 billionth of a doomsday machine

The three most powerful words in the English language are not I love you; they are So be it

The old saying– It’s better to have one and not ne… Than to need one and not have it– Comes from the fact that Everyone has what they need

Everybody knows the unwritten rule… Everybody thinks they know the unw… Nobody knows when the unwritten pu…

In Mexico City men never wear shorts and if that’s where my anxiety dreams are set they could represent

In an online community You don’t have to commute But your sins will never be commut…

They couldn’t have been more obvio… in their preparations for the surp… trusting that I was the type loathe to ruin my own surprise