Some people say
They were born too late;
I was almost born too soon
But then along came the internet
Just in time to stop time–
It went like this:
When I announced my quarter-life crisis
With the claim that I had no ambition
(This was the nineties, natch)
It was all a big fat lie;
I wanted to live forever
Which just happened to mean
Doing nothing
Which, conveniently, you could now do online
But then along came my wife
And she was having none of that
So, I’ve had the time of my life