The male gaze sees all or nothing unless it’s blindfolded– then it sees both

As ever There is the easy way And the hard way The hard way Is being condemned to a freedom

But you will always get a second chance to make a false impression

The first half of life: If it ain’t broke Don’t fix it The second half of life: If you can’t fix it

Marxism is a sadism with a simple formula: My happiness becomes real the moment yours is dematerialized

You can’t put a square peg in a round hole but you can put a JPEG in a memory hole

There’s only one way To win a game of chicken But there are two ways to lose And the only chance of victory Is knowing ahead of time

Heart cancer is vanishingly rare because a heart of gold only spreads love, not gold while a mind of gold inevitably spreads all the way

The makers of Fitbit Bring you the Pleasure Measure Because after you get your steps i… It’s time to get your fun done!

The turning point came after I pegged my happi– ness to the dollar

If you pursue any vice long enough you’ll either become bored or addi… scratch that– you’ll either become bored and qui… or bored and addicted

There’s more than one way to move… So, I’m always beavering away At my dam that bends the river Far, far away from the foot of the…

We’ve got enough to go on That there’s enough for everybody So long as we are tough enough But we couldn’t leave well enough… And soon enough

Knowing that everyone agrees you remind them of indoor furniture on the porch tells you nothing about what each of them thinks of you

My wife– All 5 feet of her– Busted me out of prison So that I could get back To a life of time