Whereas Mayor McCheese loved reading about himself in the newsp… ex-Mayor McCheese was served with divorce papers

We got the five day work week because that’s how long it takes a python to digest it’s meal

Google Glass never took because smart phones are a prosthetic for the hands not the eyes

It would have been enough Had God merely kept His promises But since He knows a thing or two About human psychology God always under-promises and over…

You can’t burn a bridge when they’ve already dismantled th… to keep you out but you can burn an eternal flame to mark the location

There is only one way to claim moral authority: Convincing others that they are the authority in their own life And based on exhaustive research

A funny thing happened when I told them that you can either laugh or you can cr… No one laughed but for a second

She was so cool that even her periods were fashionably late

One thing I could do Was need control

It used to be true that “All the world’s a stage” but now that all the world wide web’s a gauge the real world’s but a Faraday Ca…

When it came time to build my own… it quickly became apparent that I’… explaining that the color of the b…

Tom Brady keeps a portrait of him… that is becoming progressively more likable

Jews have learned the hard way How to discern when someone has Failed to earn their F for failin… The tell is whenever a Jew just Living a life

There’s only one way To win a game of chicken But there are two ways to lose And the only chance of victory Is knowing ahead of time