Carry a pen, should you need to write “Note to self: Congratulations!”

No one wanted to wear augmented reality goggles until our design team hit upon the idea of making them look

They used to pay us A penny for our thoughts But then they realized We would pay them To think for us

When I caught my wife cutting up… she said it was to prevent birds getting stuck in them like six-pac…

I always thought saying slide trombone was like saying pizza pie until I heard about the valve trombone

Thinking that the purpose of life… things looked good enough on the s… to believe that my life was 24-karat gold Who knew that the purpose of beaut…

With the same hubris That got us into this mess In the first place We like nothing more than to decla… Global warming is man-made

When I got to the front of the self-checkout line I assumed there’d be a mirror but to my surprise and delight it was even better than I’d hoped

All fiction Is serious fiction Because all fiction Is life and death Everything on the internet

Originally it was about Michael Bike and called Bike Rider

When I started telling my employe… Apologies in advance! they still felt compelled by decor… No apologies needed which was how I ended exploitation

The wonder of it all includes everything worth loving but also everything that must be endured So, I wonder about

The good Hurts so good The bad Hurts so bad And the ugly

The pandemic lockdowns were the pa… and penultimate nonevent because o… limits of human imagination– We could only imagine shutting everything down