The only colleges left standing will be the ones that can make you look smart while you’re playing dumb
The question isn’t: Why is there something rather than nothing? It’s: Why does it mean something
The remarkable thing about life is how time consuming it is
It’s not about you; It’s about me– This is how you know She’s breaking up with you It’s not about you;
Notice how the giraffe evolved so that its neck is precisely long… to reach the water when it bends d…
To break up with your significant other just say I need space To break it off
Power is a measure of the capacity to cope with our lack of control and in wielding our power to take control
Antisemitism is suddenly easy to f… It’s a mile wide and just scratch the surface an inch deep– You’ll find it there
Everyone has a shoe size and a city size– I wear an 11 and a half and a 600,000
No one wanted to wear augmented reality goggles until our design team hit upon the idea of making them look
In Putin’s version of Let’s Make… he shows you what’s behind Door #1… - You let Putin run you through w… AND what’s behind Door #2: - You fall on your sword to atone…
Instead of a Che Guevara t-shirt I have a Carol Burnett henley
Haunted by conflicted feelings in… my therapist and I finally traced… when I preferred Pepsi to Coke and McDonald’s to Burger King but B.K. served Pepsi
In phase one we lived in order to live In phase two we talked in order to live In phase three,
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and antisemitism
