If you want a world that isn’t just a bunch of window dressing don’t have a world in which we’re all constantly being window…

As ever There is the easy way And the hard way The hard way Is being condemned to a freedom

Not much has changed but now I’m a glass is ten per– cent full kind of guy

Instead of shooting bullets into t… to celebrate I raise my leaf blower towards the… On blue moons I do this from my jet ski

Abiding means to wait expectantly, defiantly, or submiss… and I typically manage all three in the grocery store checkout line even in the express lane

We hit it off: she’d declawed her cats and I’d plucked my cacti’s needles

I used to pretend that Kafka’s The Trial was my favorite book but these days I bring a courtroom stenographer with me

Our brains are just big enough to operate eight fingers and two thumbs An octopus is smart but if it also had

The truth will set you free but consensus will get you academi… i.e., tenure

I know what I want But do I want everyone else To know what I want That is the question

The people will never accept the f… that the one thing missing from an effective conspiracy is conspir… so they keep looking for the inexi… always expecting to find them

In theory rule by consensus sounds more democratic but in practice it leads to hung juries

Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s all big stuff.

Let good intentions be my sword and naivete my shield

Life = Trial by fire Death = Trial by firing squad