In hopes of finally nailing down All the right answers We converted English into math Filtering language through ones an… Making all stories into word probl…

A wedding ring is a mood ring that never changes color reminding us that a husband should always feel

Life is defined by failure But you can transcend failure If you die trying

My handwriting analyst said my electronic signature indicates a Type A personality and that’s all she sees anymore I said

In a failed democracy the one thing both sides can agree on is that the real traitors are the loyal opposition

It used to be true that “All the world’s a stage” but now that all the world wide web’s a gauge the real world’s but a Faraday Ca…

We have achieved the classless society: eve– rything is tacky

Most tautologies are self-fulfilling prophecies For example: Most people are average But God never met

I’m not a Buddhist but I understand that the bodhisat… doesn’t enact his escape from suff… exiting the cycle of birth, old ag… but through the determination to r…

Human beings evolved to avoid face-to-face conflict which was why until very recently everybody was talking behind each…

When I asked Permission to come aboard The ship of fools They said Everything is permitted

The only way to avoid giving the man who has everything more of the same is to give him nothing

The only colleges left standing will be the ones that can make you look smart while you’re playing dumb

The world is An interrogation room And God is behind The two-way mirror