If you can get what you want you’re selling yourself short

In Mexico City men never wear shorts and if that’s where my anxiety dreams are set they could represent

The first time I went to a robot… I said it hurts when I do this just as I bared my soul and the robot doctor said Don’t do that

All self-help books boil down to this: You can’t fold a piece of paper more than 7 times but if you could fold it 103 times

I’m still the kind of person who is shocked that you can run out of gas and run out of luck at the exact same time

I believe in the great man theory of history because the good man theory of history is so obviously false

Whenever it looks like the Jews have finally been accepted by their host culture you can be sure that trouble for the Jews

It’s widely known that A man’s best availability is his a… The highest praise for a man is What would we do without him? But it’s rarely said that

An overreaction used to tell you who was guilty Now it’s just another link in

Our bodies are exactly as strong as gravity’s resistance makes them… in recognition of mortality we symbolize this through the know… that gravity is the weakest

I can’t guess your age but I can guess your age when you got that tattoo

With the same hubris That got us into this mess In the first place We like nothing more than to decla… Global warming is man-made

The screen you’re looking at seven hours a day is actually a magnifying glass

I’m not afraid of jumping in front of a bus because I don’t want to jump in front of a bus I am afraid of

The sixth extinction was hardest of all on the balloon animal artists