The older I get the less I pause for effect This is because the clock is ticking and I’d rather not waste my time

Motion picture this: You can take it to the bank But you never know Since there could be a run on the… Or you can give it to God

In families adept at keeping open secrets no one expects you to state the obvious

Social media is a dream come true– Finally, I can keep up appearances while letting myself go

When they start to call you clear-eyed it just means you’re a cynic whose time has come

You may think that the unconscious Is there to protect you from seein… How the sausage is made Because if you knew You wouldn’t want to eat it

Skulls of Roman glad– iators indicate high rates of C.T.E.

In granting us free will God took the greatest of risks God also made us in His image God risked it all on us Risking it all on Him

At this late juncture All eating is competitive eating But in the world to come All competition will be An excuse for a feast

In comic books Superheroes assume a secret identi… In order to fool others So they can continue to serve othe… In real life

In His infinite wisdom God made the pen mightier than the… Which is why the internet’s first… Is the First Amendment It’s only once free speech and fre…

History won’t begin when we elimin… hoping that now everyone will get… Because step 1 in ending status i… and step 2 turns out to be elimina… This simulacrum that we live in ai…

I have a prediction to make: We can’t predict the ending But when it’s all said and done Everything will seem obvious For example,

The world is An interrogation room And God is behind The two-way mirror

Where once I feared death Now I fear that Death will be anticlimactic