The brain is the heart’s fifth chamber and I am the chambermaid
If you’re going to take sick leave… take FMLA
Mid-life crisis: the failure to start hoping you don’t get what you want
The only reason that people wear clothes is because they have language
Gaslight, gas bright First-class I seek tonight I wish I may I wish I might Have the wishful thought
In Putin’s version of Let’s Make… he shows you what’s behind Door #1… - You let Putin run you through w… AND what’s behind Door #2: - You fall on your sword to atone…
Thinking the best of myself My best thinking Got me here, Before God
Much of life is boring Which is also why Life is so funny
My favorite plot twists have always been quicksand and amnesia but I have this sinking feeling I’m forgetting something
Just because life is good doesn’t mean it isn’t also too much of a good thing
Your eyes are your tools For processing light But don’t trust the process– Trust the light
You can’t believe without doubt But if you only believe in doubt Then you’re doubting doubt Which is like Exhaling and exhaling
Late capitalism compensated for it… by blending it into its own propri… No one can redeem the past But everyone can redeem coupons!
I was a bullshit artist until I realized a career as a bullshit scientist paid better
100% of success is showing up on time
