The best way to feel in control even though all control is an illusion is to stand in a line

You can watch my disappearing act as long as you’ve turned your back on the light allowing you to see a mere shadow of myself

You don’t have to have children To help raise the children And you can have children Without working at it Raising children

Almost every student prefers and l… But will almost always take the vi… Because those classes are always e…

It’s not a wine and cheese crowd unless everyone there hates crowds

It would have been enough Had God merely kept His promises But since He knows a thing or two About human psychology God always under-promises and over…

Hey mister, that Deep Blue is some deep shit I know, that’s why we’re

We can’t fool God But we can fool ourselves into thi… We fooled God The surest way to do so Is to fool ourselves into thinking

God’s not buying it Until you own it– Are we clear?

According to Exxon Mobil absolute solar power corrupts absolutely

Everyone wants to live forever because fear is self-perpetuating No one wants to overcome the fear… because courage is selfless

You cannot beat God in any sport but you can tie Him in bowling

In all my years as warden I could never figure out how to co… with NFPA code 14.14.1.5.1- “Access to exits shall be marked b… readily visible signs in all cases…

We thought it would last forever but in retrospect we were having a high time at low tide when the clam digging was easy and the eating was good

When I die I’m go– ing to donate my body to pseudoscience