Keep your friends close your enemies closer and your neighbor closest

Blood is thicker than water Unless it’s blood From a turnip

I used to pretend that Kafka’s The Trial was my favorite book but these days I bring a courtroom stenographer with me

Some people are orchids Some people are dandelions Some people like the ugly duckling are orchids who think they’re dand…

Socialism insists You should want what you need Capitalism connives To make you need what you want When in truth

If you want people to Languish, Control their Language If you want people to exercise the…

When I was a kid the rule was one kid got to pour two glasses of Coke and the other kid

You’ve met your femme fa– tale when you can’t stop wishful thinking about her

When people say I live on my phone I wonder how they withstand the pr… Of eight tons per square inch

You can’t know what you will decid… But you will know when you have de… You can’t know how you will act on… But you already know what is at st… Everything hangs in the balance;

The rug saves its harshest critique for the carpet

I thought my alarm clock woke me up each day but the day I realized it had always been a false alarm was the day I realized

There are two kinds of people in t… Those who believe in God And those who believe in God But also believe in God You can tell the latter

Almost every student prefers and l… But will almost always take the vi… Because those classes are always e…

The pleasure of a new discovery is only exceeded by the satisfaction of making a recommendation